What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Have you ever been forced to dress like a girl?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Do you believe that Jesus was God on Earth?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

What are some tips for braiding a woman's hair on a date?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Why do people hate fat people so much, even people who aren't exactly supermodels themselves? It seems like such a deep, passionate hatred, like they're offended by fat people just existing. Fat people didn't do anything to them, so why hate them?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Does having the wrong address on my car insurance invalidate my policy?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

How do military families balance personal political views with respect for civilian leadership?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Why did the American's mulberry harbor not hold up after D-Day?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

TEXT:

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Is it ok to be spanked by your parents if you are not in bed in your set bedtime?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Why don't we hear our own snoring?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

What do you do when you are struggling to fall asleep?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Why can't we send flat Earthers to space and show them the shape of Earth?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …